Meet Philip,

Philip is either extremely stupid or he is working against small online stores which he says are terrified of bad reviews.

He ordered a 30-pound bag of dog food to ship to Texas despite the big, bold red text on the product page that read, “THIS PRODUCT IS AVAILABLE FOR LOCAL DELIVERY OR CURB PICKUP ONLY!

Despite my courteous phone message and email, he called our shop and berated the charming and talented Reagan who kept offering to put him in touch with me.

When I called him back I told him I was so sorry but I had my gills caught in a net somewhere off Georges Banks over the weekend and would he mind if I kicked out my eggs before continuing?

Haha! He had no choice in this case. We had to go there.

He claimed that I had inserted the BOLD RED TEXT after placing his order. He claimed we were fraudulent and he would report me. To what organization he would not tell. I just said “BULL$!T” and laughed at him. This is the “expletive” he refers to in his review.

He demanded his bag of food like I was violating his civil rights. I responded with a full refund. He asked for his bag of food again and I told him I was issuing full credit and no longer bothered. He demanded his bag of food or he would write a bad review. I told her I was heading for a spine transplant in an hour and really needed to get my epidural, so go with the bad review.

So if you have a minute and you don’t hate my guts too much, why not write a great review for us and help erase Philip’s Pholly from the collective memory of mankind.


— Don (not a dog)

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