4 things you do when a woman is in pain – Salmon Arm Observer

It’s remarkable that so much of the world can get wrapped up in an event like the antics of the recent Oscars, with everyone seemingly missing the point.

By way of preamble, it’s not like the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has any particular claim to class or innocence.

For nearly a century, it has operated as a promotional and political beast that is adept at consuming its own, while its rallies have been dishonored by racism, misogyny and other ugliness.

So let’s not act like someone peed on the carpet in Oslo City Hall when the Nobel Peace Prize was awarded.

Unless you’ve been oblivious for the past two weeks, you know that during the 2022 Oscars, Will Smith slapped Chris Rock after the latter made a cruel and tasteless joke about actress Jada Pinkett Smith, who is married. to Will.

Suffice it to say, if you make fun of a woman’s hair (and one who’s lost her hair to disease) and you do it in front of 16.6 million viewers, you don’t deserve the sympathy.

The victim of this drama is Jada, who was hurt publicly and then denied the opportunity to handle this situation on her own.

This idea that men have the right to move on, concerned for their own satisfaction when something has happened to the “wife” or “girlfriend” (also sisters, daughters and mothers) is quite Cro-Magnon.

Let’s be very clear.

There are only four things a man should do when a woman is hurt – emotionally or physically.

A) Ask: “How are you? »

B) Ask: “What do you want to do?”

C) Ask: “What do you want me to do?”

D) Do it.

Repeat as needed.

No victim of a traumatic event needs a current 21st century wannabe Sir Galahad to make things worse, just so they can feel better. And that always makes it worse, as we saw at the Oscars.

Plus, the victim will likely end up being blamed for the resulting fallout, as we also saw after the Oscars.

The hate online was directed at Jada, and she was blamed for causing the debacle. Even Will, in his apology speech, said “love makes you do crazy things”.

Only it’s not love. It’s more like ownership, ego and disrespect.

If someone touches a man’s van and the owner wants some form of revenge, the choice is up to him.

But a woman who has been hurt has the right to determine what happens next. He’s putting control back in the hands of someone who’s been taken away from it.

Maybe I shouldn’t say this, but a small part of me hopes that when Jada and Will came home after the scrum, she slapped him.

I mean, only if she wanted to.

Do you have anything to add to this story, or anything else we should report? Email: andrea.demeer@similkameenspotlight.com

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